Relationships After Children - Can the love and sex survive?


Have you had or do you have children? Has your relationship survived after children? Can the absent love and sex be rekindled?

Many couples are both emotionally and physically drained after caring for children and lovingly watching them grow. Usually both parents have been deprived of sleep, privacy, time uninterrupted, time away together, romantic sojourns and of course the acts of unhurried and unscheduled sex.

However as parents, we must teach our children love by having a loving relationship with our partner. Can we be both? Parent and lover?

As a women 40 years plus, I have grown adult children who are still living at home, but there are many women in this age group who still have a younger family and have yet to get the kids 'off their hands'.

When we continue to have other people under the same roof, whether they are children still at school, grown, or even our parents depending on us to care for them, it is difficult to find the privacy or the energy we need to spend with our partner. Tips to keep the candle burning with your partner when you share your living arrangements with others:

  • Call each other by a pet name. Do not call them "Mum, mommy, dad or daddy" these names do not induce sexiness.

  • Ensure you greet your partner after a long day at work with a kiss, a hug and ask how their day was. Then continue with the job at hand, such as preparing dinner, supervising homework etc.Do not ignore them or take them for granted. Remember back when you were dating and the hours of separation were agony?

  • Schedule time to be alone. Create anticipation. Be a little devious if necessary.

  • Bring excitement into the sexual act with a variety of locations i.e. a different room, sexy lingerie, flirt and tease to spice up routine sex.

Many couples find excuses to not have a healthy relationship with their partners such as tiredness, lack of money, lack of time and lack of libido.

Make the time, share the household responsibilities, get take away and light a candle on the verandah. Simply hold each other, gently massage and see what develops.

As your relationship is your top priority, there should be no obstacles standing in the way.

If you find there are obstacles, push them aside and get on with getting on again.

Rekindle that flame and flirt like you did BC (before children), and create the ABSOLUTELY FABULOUS relationship.



Go to Top of Page - Love & Sex After Children

Go to Home Women 40 yrs Plus


footer for Relationship After Children page